


All Roads Lead Here

by DeliriousOrange



Category: The Wayhaven Chronicles (Interactive Fiction)
Genre: Adam and the Detective are awkward beans, Also I will never not write about Adam having a big cock thank you very much, Angst, Domestic Fluff, F/M, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Hand Jobs, I hope no one's lactose intolerant cos this one comes with extra cheese, Letting the dumb idiots kiss, Longing, Love Confessions, Morning Sex, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, establishing of relationship, featuring some google translated latin for pizazz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-17
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:29:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26503690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeliriousOrange/pseuds/DeliriousOrange
Summary: Some things are inevitable; like snow falling in Wayhaven or two souls longing for each other finally giving into temptation.~Or~How the two stubbornest people in Wayhaven finally get together.
Relationships: Female Detective/Adam du Mortain
Comments: 16
Kudos: 135





	1. Even If It Hurts

**Author's Note:**

> So oops this story happened.  
> So sometimes you just wanna write your OTP banging for the first time and then it turns into a three part story about how they finally get over themselves and get together ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ it happens.  
> Fair warning, this is 100% pure, homegrown wish fulfillment with a heaping dose of headcanon. I imagine the way it happens in the books will be waaaaay more dramatic and angsty, but I am Soft and write Soft things.  
> This first chapter contains no smut, but the last two parts will be NSFW.  
> Thank you for reading, commenting, general encouragement, etc.

Rachel hated herself for how long she paced the hallway anxiously, hands shoved into her coat pockets and scarf wrapped warmly around her neck. It had started snowing a few hours earlier- the first of the season- and the roads were only going to get worse with every minute she let pass.

And yet there she stood, trying to gather her courage for something that should have been so easy. Simple. She was just saying goodbye, wishing him well on his mission. She ran through the script in her head again, one she may or may not had spent the entire day coming up with.

She took a deep breath and kept her hands in her pockets so that she couldn’t start chewing on her nails- a sign that she was truly on edge. Then she began the journey down the winding hallways to  _ his  _ room, not feeling at all ready to see, let alone speak, to him.

She hesitated longer than she would ever admit outside his door, fist suspended in midair. She never felt ready to see him, to feel the air get ripped out of her lungs and all sense leave her mind. And yet she forced herself forward, to jump off the cliff without looking at what was underneath her. With a breath, Rachel brought her fist down and knocked softly but firmly.

A second barely passed before the door was opened, revealing Adam’s hulking frame. All thoughts, concerns, worries, fled the second their eyes met. Her shoulders immediately relaxed, the tension in her spine easing. It was far too easy to lose herself in his gaze; the script she had so carefully memorized was forgotten the moment she had his attention. Rachel was left gaping up at him, eyes wide and heart rattling against her ribcage.

Adam raised an eyebrow, usual stoic mask in place. Like every other time they met, he gave no indication that she affected him like he did her. “Is there something you needed, Detective?”

Rachel swallowed hard, quickly glancing away. She could already feel a light blush warm her cheeks. "No, uh, I'm just here to see you, actually." She barely managed to hold a wince back at her choice of words, wishing she hadn't noticed how Adam's eyebrow went even higher. "To say goodbye, I mean.”

“Ah.” His expression relaxed, his eyes never once straying from her face. “That is kind of you, Detective, but hardly necessary. I shall only be gone for a week at the most.”

And yet she had been dreading his departure since the moment she had been informed of it. Adam had been called to another facility far away from Wayhaven, to assist on a mission involving a supernatural he was well experienced dealing with. The rest of the unit would remain at the warehouse, to protect Rachel and the town. It was only a week; a sentence that provided her no comfort despite the fact that she had repeated it to herself non-stop. 

A week might as well have been a century, for how slowly time seemed to move when he wasn’t near. “Still, I- the team will miss you.” Rachel tried to smile but knew it didn’t reach her eyes. The idea of him being so far… it made her anxious, like an itch under her skin she couldn’t scratch.

Surprise softened Adam’s features, his eyes warming as he gazed down at her. “As I will miss the team,” he murmured, though his words seemed to be for her only.

The next few moments passed in silence, both too lost in the gaze of the other to even realize that the conversation had come to a halt. Rachel felt her fingers twitch with a sudden desire to touch him, to run her fingers through his hair, to interlace them with his own. But before she could do something as reckless as actually reach out for him, Adam cleared his throat and looked away.

She blinked slowly, head feeling dizzy as if waking up from a daze. “Well,” she said, both of them now purposefully not looking at the other. “That’s all I had, I guess. I didn’t mean to interrupt you.” She took a step backwards and then another, torn between sprinting from the warehouse as fast as her legs would carry her and parking herself outside of his room so that she could be near him for as long as possible.

She managed to take a third and fourth step before Adam spoke again. “You’re not.”

Rachel looked up in surprise, half wondering if she had imagined him speaking in the first place. “What?”

“Interrupting me. You’re not interrupting me.” Adam fidgeted, fists curling and uncurling. If she didn’t know him like she did, she’d think he was embarrassed. “I was just packing.”

“Oh.” She met his eyes once more, a small frown of confusion still on her lips.

He cleared his throat, glancing away and then back at her. “You... can come inside, if you wish.” His pale cheeks flushed with color and his next words came out in a rush. “But you certainly do not have to. It is late, after all, and you work in the-”

“Okay.” She spoke quickly, too quickly, and now she was the one blushing. Practicality told her she didn’t have the time- she had to be at a meeting with the mayor in approximately nine hours. But then Adam smiled, revealing a dimple she hadn't known existed and subsequently taking her breath away. Any sleep deprivation she suffered would be more than worth it.

He pushed the door open wider, stepping to the side to offer her a path into his room. She hesitated only a moment longer before stepping inside.

Rachel could count on one hand the number of times she had been in Adam’s bedroom. Yet little seemed to change in between her visits; the room was sparse, devoid of anything that wasn’t completely necessary to function. It was so completely Adam it made her smile.

The only thing out of place was the duffel bag open on his bed, half full with neatly folded clothes. Adam moved back to the stack of t-shirts he had obviously been in the middle of folding when she had interrupted him. She hesitated by the door, coat and scarf still on. She was starting to grow warm underneath the thick blue wool of her scarf but didn’t want to take it off. She wasn't sure how long this moment would last, how long Adam would tolerate her company. 

“So,” she started after a moment passed in silence. Adam had his back to her, a grey shirt in his hands, though he hadn’t made any moves to return to packing. “How far away is the other facility you’re going to anyway?”

“It is a considerable distance,” he answered. “It would take you most of the day to drive there.”

"But you're not driving?"

He smiled slightly. "I am not."

Their conversation tapered off into comfortable silence, Adam slowly returning to his task while Rachel allowed herself to step further into the room, eyes scanning it appraisingly. There wasn’t much to look at, not even a picture hanging on the wall. Part of her was surprised Farah had let him get away with it for so long. 

“Are you leaving tonight?” She asked when she finally found the words. Every question she asked was just another way to extend their time together, to keep him close to her for as long as she could.

“As soon as possible,” Adam answered, his eyes locked onto the wall behind her as he spoke. Though, despite his words, there was no urgency in his actions, almost like he was trying to prolong the moment as well. “The snow is supposed to worsen overnight; I wish to avoid it.”

She nodded, absentmindedly studying a small stack of books that were sitting on his nightstand. All related to research; she shouldn’t have been surprised. She glanced back at him to find his eyes on her, a frown on his lips as his eyes seemed to be narrowed in concern.

Rachel arched an eyebrow. “Something wrong?”

“The roads will undoubtedly be hazardous due to the poor weather. Your vehicle can barely keep together under normal conditions. Perhaps it is best that you leave before it gets any worse.”

She couldn’t help the pang that hit her heart, hurt flaring up before she could stop it. Rachel looked away, lips pursed as she shoved her hands further into her pockets. "I can go if you want me to,” She mumbled, quickly glancing back at him out of the corner of her eye.

Adam blinked in surprise, undoubtedly not understanding the impact of his words. “No, I-” He cleared his throat, letting the balled up t-shirt in his hand drop. “It is not a matter of want, Detective. It is a matter of safety. I  _ want  _ you to be safe.”

Her shoulders dropped, any remnants of hurt fading at the sincerity in his words. “I’ll be fine, Adam,” she promised, a small smile flickering across her face. “I know how to drive in the snow.”

The tension in him didn’t seem to ease at her words. He looked away, picking up another t-shirt and holding it in his hands. “You’ll let me know?” he mumbled, unable to meet her gaze. “That you’ve made it home safe?”

Her smile only grew as she sat down on the edge of his bed, careful not to disrupt the neat stacks of clothing that were scattered across the mattress. Adam followed her movements with his eyes, swallowing hard as she settled into her spot and unwrapped the scarf from around her neck. “I will,” she agreed, placing the scarf to the side.

He gave a nod, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly. Their eyes met as Rachel gave him a soft smile, one so full of understanding it made Adam look away, unable to bear the weight of it.

Clearing his throat, he went back to packing while she watched, eventually shrugging her coat off when she grew too hot. She glanced back up to find him watching her movements with heavy eyes that seemed to trace her curves. He quickly glanced down at his duffel bag when she caught him looking.

“Do you need any help?” She offered, nodding towards the clothes that still needed to be folded.

“No, thank you, Detective,” he answered. “I have it under control.”

She rolled her eyes, even as she couldn’t help but smile at how stubborn he was, how Adam. “If you insist.”

The next half hour passed too quickly; it took Adam longer than it probably should have to finish packing, with Rachel constantly distracting him with questions- about missions, current and old- and stories- about work, old cases, even a few from her childhood. He never seemed annoyed, though, not once. He even indulged her curiosity more so than he usually did, and asked his own questions about her past she never would have answered for anyone else. 

She wondered if he already felt the distance like she did, if he dreaded every second that passed because it meant one less they could share together. It was so hard to tell what was real and what was her overly optimistic imagination, especially since he was Adam. Sometimes- sometimes she thought he felt it all, just like she did. That he wanted her, even if he couldn’t say it. And sometimes she just felt like his burden to bear, his job to complete.

It was hard to know the truth when one minute he was stroking her cheek and gazing down at her like she was something priceless and the next he was storming away, putting as much distance between them as he could. It all added up to be disorienting and confusing; made her head and her heart feel like a jumbled mess of emotions.

All thoughts were wiped away when Adam sat down on the other side of the bed, the mattress dipping underneath his weight. There was more than a foot of distance between them and yet it was closest he had sat next to her perhaps since she had known him. Rachel swallowed and fidgeted in her spot, finding it suddenly difficult to get comfortable.

Adam took a deep breath, as if gathering courage for what he was about to say. Even the thought was surprising; Adam was easily the bravest person she knew, the idea that he might be afraid to do anything was inconceivable.

“You will be careful?” He started, staring straight ahead at the wall they were facing.

Rachel rolled her eyes, though the smile on her lips made it teasing. “I already told you I’d text you when I got home. This isn't my first time driving in the snow.”

“I meant while I am away,” he corrected and the amusement immediately vanished from her eyes at the sincerity to his words. “I trust the others to keep you safe, but I....”

Rachel watched him expectantly, heart pounding into her throat as she thought about just how he might finish his sentence. “Your safety is of the utmost importance,” he finished, his voice gentle despite the formalness of his words.

A bitter smile turned her lips and Rachel cursed herself for getting her hopes up. “I am capable of taking care of myself, you know,” she said, voice not sounding as light as she wished it had.

“I know.” His agreement almost sent Rachel toppling from the bed. “You are very capable, Detective, of many things. That has not been called into question. But I will-” Again he cut himself off, as if more was coming out than he had meant. Adam gave an annoyed huff, a hand running over his hair. “I find it impossible not to worry for you, even when it is nonsensical.”

Rachel let loose a breath, mind reeling from his confession. She was sure her heart was beating so loudly it was deafening. A quick glance up at Adam revealed that he was just as stunned by his own words, his usually stoic mask shattered for just a moment.

Before she could question herself, doubt her actions, Rachel scooted closer to him, resting a hand on his arm. Their skin seemed to spark at the contact, electricity lighting up her skin and every nerve ending. Adam stared down at her hand, at their connection, but she didn’t pull away. 

“You’ll be careful too?” She asked softly. “I don’t like that you’re going to be out there alone, without one of us there with you.”

Adam glanced up to meet her eyes, gaze warm. “I am capable of taking care of myself as well. But thank you, Rachel. Your concern… it means more than you could know.”

They had both moved in close without realizing it. Rachel’s breath caught in her throat when she glanced down to find their lips barely an inch apart. She suddenly couldn’t tear her gaze away from his mouth, didn’t want to look anywhere else. “I worry about you too,” she confessed, barely aware of her own words. “I can’t help it.”

_ “Rachel…” _

They were so close they were practically breathing the same air. If she leaned in, she could capture his lips, could discover what he would taste like on her tongue. Adam’s hand came up to brush a stray lock of hair from her face, the tips of his fingers dragging ever so gently across her cheek.

She expected him to pull his hand away when he was finished, but instead it trailed down to cup her jaw. Rachel leaned into his touch, reveling in it. She  _ needed  _ to kiss him, ached so desperately to crash their lips together it almost hurt. Her eyelids fluttered shut and she tilted her head up-

_ Brrrrrng! Brrrrrng! _

They both jumped apart, flying to separate sides of the room when the alarm on her phone went off. Heart racing, Rachel rushed to turn it off, shaking fingers making the task difficult. She cursed silently to herself when she saw how late it was; she was going to hate herself in the morning.

She glanced at Adam and quickly away again. He had his back to her, arms crossed over his chest and so very obviously not looking at her. Awkward silence filled the room, before Rachel cleared her throat and tucked her phone away.

“I should be getting home,” she murmured, skin still tingling where it had touched his. She clenched her fingers to stem the feeling.

“Of course.”

Rachel stared at him a second longer, trying to memorize him, before she tore her gaze away. She quickly snatched up her coat, shrugging it on as she headed towards the door. She lingered in the threshold, silently begging him to turn around, to say something. When he didn’t, she gave a final sigh and left.

It was snowing with full force when Rachel finally made it out of the warehouse. The idea of having to dig her car out from underneath the icy mess had her shoulders slumping even more than they were already.

She should know by now not to get her hopes up. And yet, there she was every time Adam gave even the smallest sign he might feel the same way; holding her heart out to him like the desperate, eager idiot she was.

She blamed herself more than she would ever blame him.

With a sigh, Rachel moved further into the snow, boots crunching with every step she took. She shivered when a snowflake landed on her neck and reached up to wrap her scarf tighter around her.

Only it was gone.

Rachel let out a groan when she remembered where she had left it. The idea of going back there after what had happened between them...

The choice was made for her, though, when the doors to the warehouse were suddenly pushed open. Adam stepped into the cold, no coat on, with her scarf in his hand.

Her heart rate only picked up at the sight.

“Detective,” he called out to her, stepping towards her.

“Oh, thanks.” She swallowed hard as she moved to meet him, hand reaching out to take the scarf from him. Adam ignored her, however, instead moving close and wrapping the thick woolen scarf around her neck.

She was afraid to breathe, afraid to do anything that might frighten him away. Rachel stayed perfectly still, eyes never straying from his face. Adam remained focused on his work, making sure the scarf kept her as warm as possible without being uncomfortable. He tucked the fabric into her coat, made sure it protected her whole neck. When he was done, he examined her with a critical eye, as if determining whether more protection from the cold was needed.

His eyes narrowed in on her trembling bottom lip, on the snow that had gathered there. His thumb came up to brush the half-melted flakes away, sending Rachel’s heart rate skyrocketing. When she dared to look up at him, his eyes were focused on her lips, his fingers drawing across her cheek hesitantly, as if of their own accord.

His name caught on the edge of her tongue. She was afraid to speak it, afraid to break the bubble that had formed around them, separating them from the outside world. But she leaned into his touch, into him, her hands coming up to rest on his chest. She could feel the heat of his skin through his shirt and her fingers bunched into the fabric.

“Rachel.” He leaned down, breathing her name into her mouth, spoken as both a question and a plea.

Their lips brushed together, just once, with hesitance and fear and so much hope it threatened to break both of them.

Their lips touched and everything shattered.

Rachel gasped against his mouth, fingers digging further into his shirt. She needed something to anchor herself to, to hold on to. She was afraid to open her eyes, afraid what she might see if she did. Their lips brushed together once more, just touching enough to be considered a kiss, and Rachel felt herself break.

_ “Adam.”  _ She whimpered against his mouth, pressing her body tighter against his. He pulled away just enough to press their foreheads together, one hand in her hair and the other still holding onto her scarf.

When she opened her eyes, Adam was staring down at her expectantly. They both stared, wide eyed, at each other, as if neither could process what had just happened. They shared a breath, both silently willing the other person to pull away, to admit it was all a mistake, to do something that would shatter both their hearts so certainly.

Neither moved.

Their mouths crashed together like waves hitting the shore, like an avalanche smashing into the mountainside. Rachel moaned as she felt herself dissolve underneath his touch. She was done, finished. He had ruined her. She could never go back, never exist in a moment where she was not kissing him, not feeling every inch of him against her.

Adam wrapped his arms tightly around her, not even an inch of space between them. His body was hot, burning underneath her hands as he seemed determined to devour her, to make up for every moment they could have spent with their mouths consuming each other but hadn’t.

Even when she had to break away, her lungs screaming desperately for air, Adam didn’t stop kissing her. His lips trailed down her cheek to her neck, warming her freezing skin and consuming every part of her.

Around them, the snow kept falling. Even as everything changed.


	2. Walls Caving In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam returns early from his mission, forcing both him and Rachel to face the consequences of their kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whelp the word count got a bit away from me on this one, folks. I knew I was fucked when I was over 4000 words and hadn't gotten to the banging yet. But I didn't want to split this up cos of flow and everything so here we are.  
> Hope you enjoy and stay tuned for part 3!

_ Six Days Later _

Rachel tugged her oversized hoodie over her head, her long red hair twisted into a messy bun. It was freezing in her apartment, even with the baggy plaid pajama pants she was wearing. It had snowed practically every day since Adam had left, making Wayhaven almost picturesque in its beauty, like the whole town belonged in a snowglobe.

She pulled her toothbrush out, planning on quickly brushing her teeth before going to bed. It wasn’t even nine o’clock yet- she wouldn’t have to be at the station for another twelve hours- but this whole week had left her exhausted. Between work and Adam, she was mentally and emotionally drained.

_ Adam.  _ Even the thought of his name made her heart speed up, a hundred different emotions consuming her at once. He had been the only thing to occupy her thoughts since the night he had left. Since their kiss.

She pressed her fingers against her lips, the same way she had every day since his own lips had been there. Her eyes shut of their own accord and she sighed softly, memory of that night overtaking her before she could stop it.

_ “You’re shivering.” _

_ Their mouths were so close his lips brushed hers when he spoke. At some point Rachel had managed to wrap her entire body around his- her arms around his back, their legs tangled together- and he had her pressed up against the brick wall of the warehouse.  _

_ Around them, the snow kept falling, covering both of them in fluffy white flakes. But she couldn’t feel the cold, not when the heat radiating from Adam was engulfing her. _

_ “I am?” Her mind was hazy; she felt drunk off the taste of his lips, the feel of his tongue in her mouth. How had they gone this long without doing that? Why hadn’t she thrown herself at him the moment they had met in her office, all that time ago? _

_ Adam nodded, gazing down at her as his body arched over hers protectively. His eyes seemed to be tracing the lines of her face, as if trying to memorize her. The emotions swirling in those warm emeralds of his sent her heart racing off. She wished she could decipher them all, figure out what he was thinking. “Are you cold?” _

_ “No,” she answered honestly. Her skin felt hot, burning, like steam should be forming wherever the snow landed. _

_ His fingers combed through her hair, brushing snowflakes away. She thought there would be more hesitance to his touch, yet he seemed almost greedy as he clutched at her; alternating between stroking her face and learning the curves of her body through her coat. Not once did his hands leave her, almost like he couldn’t bring himself to. _

_ “You should get home,” he reminded her, voice so soft it was barely above a whisper. “And I need to leave soon.” _

_ Yet still he did not release his hold on her and Rachel only pressed herself tighter against him. Another minute passed in silence, snow continuing to fall around them as if her entire world hadn’t just shifted. _

_ She knew she should leave. She had to work early and really did need to sleep. And yet the very idea of having to let go of him sent her panicking, as if he would disappear as soon as she released him.  _

_ “What does this mean?” _

_ The words slipped from her mouth without permission; as soon as she spoke her eyes went wide, as if she couldn’t believe what she had just asked him. Adam, though, gave no sign of such shock. He just continued to look at her, a sadness tinging his gaze. _

_ “I don’t know.” _

_ His mouth dipped once more, catching the corner of her lips before taking them fully. Rachel poured everything she had left into that kiss, prayed it was enough to keep him. _

_ Adam pulled away first, slowly untangling his limbs from hers. He released her face last, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear before finally stepping away. It broke her heart a bit, having to let him go. But she did, fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt until distance finally allowed him to slip away.  _

_ “Get home safely,” he murmured, eyes taking her in one last time. “We… we’ll talk when I get back.” _

_ And with that, he whirled on his heels and stormed back into the facility. It was several moments before Rachel could finally move again, feeling like half of her had left with him. _

She hadn't been in contact with him since that night, when she texted him after arriving home. She had spent fifteen minutes composing that message, finally settling for  _ I made it home. See you soon. Please be safe.  _ He hadn't written back.

Rachel sighed, letting her eyes close as she leaned against the sink. She had been on edge the entire week, easier to set off than usual. Farah had certainly enjoyed doing so, until Nate had finally intervened.

She somehow found herself missing Adam with every fiber of her being and dreading his return more than anything else. She knew what that kiss meant for her- she couldn't pretend anymore, couldn't go on acting like she wasn't heartbreakingly in love with him every second that passed. But she didn't know where he stood, if anything had changed for him. She wanted to think that it had; but history, and fear, told her not to get her hopes up.

Tomorrow, he was due to be back from his mission; the first time she’d see him since their kiss. And then she’d know for certain whether or not she’d ever get to do it again.

The answer was so terrifying she’d almost rather not know.

A sudden knock at her door made Rachel jump, knocking her hairbrush to the ground in the process. She frowned, certainly not expecting anyone, but made her way to the front door regardless.

Exhaustion made her move slowly across her kitchen into her living room, limbs feeling heavy and sluggish. All of her just wanted to sleep, to be well rested for what tomorrow would bring. She tried not to be annoyed at whoever was keeping her from her bed.

Rachel made it to the front door, stretching up to look through the peephole to the otherside.

Her heart stopped beating when all she saw was Adam.

She pushed away from the door as if she had been burned, heart pounding in her chest. Her brain could barely process what was happening through the surprise and confusion. He was  _ here. Now.  _ Outside her door.

And she was in her  _ pajamas. _

Eyes wide, she briefly debated sprinting back to her room to change into something actually flattering and maybe quickly throw some makeup on. But, as she took three steps back from the door, she realized that there was no way he couldn’t already sense her presence.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel smoothed her clothes down before forcing herself to unlock the door and pull it open. "Um, hey."

Adam had his arms folded behind his back, lips pulled into a tight frown. But the second their eyes met he softened, his stiff posture relaxing and a small smile teasing the corners of his mouth. The second their eyes met, all thoughts that didn't involve his lips on hers were wiped away.

"Hello, Detect-" he stopped himself, clearing his throat while glancing away from her and back again. "Hello, Rachel," he murmured, his voice husky as his eyes roamed her face.

She had to resist a shiver at hearing the way he spoke her name, almost whispering it as if it was a secret meant for her ears only. She swallowed hard, leaning against the door for support as she struggled to gather her thoughts.

"Hi." She blushed, realizing she already said that. Rachel glanced away from him quickly, just barely catching a glimpse of his lips pulling up into a more complete smile. "Can I- Did you-" God, this was already going poorly. She was sure her face matched the deep red of her hair. She cleared her throat and tried again. "I thought you were coming back tomorrow."

"I was," he nodded, posture stiffening once more, face falling back into its stoic mask. "But I finished with my work early and decided to return to Wayhaven tonight."

"Oh." She nodded, unsure of what to say. Every time she looked at him, all she could think about was that kiss. Was he thinking about it too? Was he imagining taking her into his arms and pressing her up against the door? Her fingers itched to touch him, to pull him as close to her as she could. "Well, I'm glad you did."

He glanced down at her, surprise clear in his eyes. And maybe a glimmer of hope. "You are?" Adam asked, voice soft with uncertainty. "I was... unsure how you would feel."

Rachel offered him a gentle smile. "I'm- I always like seeing you." The words came out in a rush and made her cheeks flame, but the soft smile he offered her- that revealed the dimple she hadn't been able to stop thinking about since she discovered its existence- made it more than worth it.

They stood there, smiling at each other for several moments. Rachel blinked out of the daze first, clearing her throat and looking away. She couldn’t help but feel awkward around him, uncertain. She didn't know where they stood and it felt like every step she took threatened to break the ground beneath them.

“Did you need something?” She blurted out, fingers gripping the frame of the door tightly, as if she’d collapse without it supporting her.

“Hmm?” Those eyes of his, warm emerald and full of an emotion she was afraid to know the name of, never strayed from her face. When they trailed over her lips, she knew he was thinking of the last time they had been alone together; of the taste of snow and their warm breath mingling together in the cold air. Suddenly it felt hard to breathe under the heavy weight of his gaze.

“Is there something you needed from me? Or did you just want me to know that you’re back?” She shut her lips tightly, as if that would prevent any more words from spilling out.

“Oh.” Adam blinked, tearing his eyes away from her and clearing his throat. “Yes. I just wished for you to know that, in case anything should come up and I am needed.” His eyes were still soft when he tilted his head back slightly to look at her once more. “And to make sure you were alright. Safe.”

Now it was Rachel’s smile that grew, her heart aching to reach out to him. “I’m alright, Adam,” she murmured, fingers twitching against the painted wood of her front door. “I promise.”

He nodded once, relief making him relax as he returned her smile. “Good.”

Silence fell between them again, only further punctuated by the tension between them, by every word they chose not to speak. Just as she opened her mouth to break it, Adam was shaking his head slightly, as if to clear it, and taking a step back from her.

“I should be going.” His eyes fell to her attire and she felt her cheeks flush once more with embarrassment. “You were about to go to sleep. We can speak more in the morning. My apologies for disturbing you.”

She was already taking a step forward, filling the space that had formed between them. “You’re not,” she rushed to say, the idea of him leaving now almost unbearable. “I was just....” Her words trailed off as she realized she didn’t know how to finish her sentence. How to convince him to stay.

Silence sparked once more, though Adam just continued to look at her expectantly. Rachel swallowed hard, feeling the weight of the million unspoken words between them press down on her. There was so much to say, to discuss, that she didn’t know where to start.

She took a deep breath and released it slowly, gathering her courage. “Do you want to come inside?”

Seconds, that felt more like hours, passed before Adam responded. He looked as hesitant as she had ever seen him. “I don’t wish to bother you,” he murmured. “You need your rest.”

Sleep was the furthest thing from her mind at the moment, but she didn’t say that. “You’re not,” she assured him, far too eagerly. “it’s still early. And I know it’s only been a week, but I… I missed you.” The words came out in a rush and she desperately avoided looking at him. She felt like a complete idiot, was sure Adam thought so too. But when she finally gathered the courage to glance up at him, he was staring down at her as if hanging onto her every word. “Do you want to?”

It felt like an eternity had passed before he answered, her fate hanging in the balance. He nodded once, face expressionless even as his eyes held back a wave of emotion. “Yes. I would like to.”

She tried to smother the breathless sigh of relief that escaped her, but was sure she had failed. She smiled too widely and looked away, stepping to the side so that he could pass. Adam did so, each of his steps slow and heavy. Rachel shut the door as soon as he was inside, locking it and trying not let her nerves eat her alive.

She stepped further into her living room, turning a few lights on even though she was the only one affected by the darkness. Adam stood in his usual spot in front of the window, his back to her as he gazed out into the night. She shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, unsure of what to say now that they were completely alone.

More than anything, she wanted to ask about their kiss. But, more than anything, she was terrified to. With a sigh, Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and took a few steps towards the kitchen. “Do you want a glass of wine?” She asked. “Verda gave me a bottle a few months ago that I haven’t opened yet.” In reality, she had purchased it with him in mind, should a night similar to this one ever occur. Not that she’d ever admit to that.

“Yes. Please.” His back was still to her, arms crossed over his chest. His standoffishness only made her more anxious and she hesitated a second more before turning on her heels and walking into her kitchen.

Rachel pulled two glasses from her cabinet, along with the wine. She had spent more on it than she normally ever would on a single bottle, yet she still had a feeling it wouldn’t meet his standards. Wine snob. She smiled slightly to herself, nerves easing as she uncorked the bottle and filled the glasses with the crimson colored liquid.

She made to walk back into the living room but paused, stopping herself. She quickly examined her appearance in the mirror that hung over her kitchen table, frowning when she saw the heavy bags that hung under her eyes and the frizzy mess that had become her hair. 

She wished she had time to do something about the bags, but instead settled for quickly fixing her hair into a smoother ponytail. She shrugged her sweatshirt off before immediately putting it back on when she realized she was wearing only a tank top underneath with no bra. Rachel grimaced at her reflection, feeling nowhere close to ready for what might happen, good or bad. But she picked up the wine glasses and moved back into the living room anyway.

Their hands brushed together when she handed Adam his glass, though unlike usual he didn't rush to break contact. His touch lingered, fingers grazing against hers until he finally pulled away with a quick nod of thanks. Rachel's skin burned where it had met his, heart fluttering anxiously in her chest while every part of her ached to reach out for him again.

Clearing her throat, she looked away to sit down on the sofa closest to the window, folding her legs underneath her before taking a long sip of her drink. The wine was sweet and helped soothe her nerves the tiniest bit. Glancing up, she opened her mouth to speak words her mind had not yet formed only to have it all wiped away when Adam sat down next to her.

She almost jolted in surprise; he usually chose to stand behind her or sit near enough that he could throw his body in front of hers should an attacker suddenly strike- but rarely, if ever,  _ next  _ to her. Their thighs almost touched, though they were just not quite close enough. She took another sip of wine to distract from just how  _ close  _ he was, fingers twitching as she resisted every urge to reach out and touch him.

"Did everything go okay? With work, I mean. At the other facility." She silently cursed herself for how dense she was being, and had to stop herself from finishing her glass in one long gulp. At the rate she was going, she'd be sloppy drunk before Adam even took a sip.

If he noticed her inner turmoil or the red flush to her cheeks he didn't say anything. Instead he brought his glass to his lips, pausing as he thought of his answer. “It went fine,” he said finally, taking a long sip. “The mission was completed with ease. How were things here?”

Neither of them were ones for small talk, yet that was about all Rachel could manage. The one thing she wanted to talk about was the one thing she couldn’t or shouldn’t or was too afraid to. “Good. Quiet.” She played with a loose string on the cuff of her sweatshirt. “Better now.”

A small smile flickered to life across Adam’s face, one he smothered by taking another sip of his drink. Silence reigned once more, heavy and weighted, making Rachel fidget in her seat. Minutes passed with no words spoken, the two of them drinking their wine quietly. It wasn’t exactly uncomfortable, but the tension in the air was thick, palpable.

She knew what she should say- now, while she had the chance. While Adam was here, in front of her, and maybe finally open to talking about their relationship. He was here, now, when he didn't have to be. 

Maybe he did want more. Maybe he wanted her. The thought was enticing and daunting all at once.

While Rachel was trying to come up with a tactful way to pour her heart out, Adam finished the last of his wine while gazing out the window as if swallowed by his own thoughts. She had long finished her glass and, with another quick glance at Adam, decided she needed to gather her thoughts. Maybe solitude in the kitchen would provide the clarity she so desperately needed.

“I’ll go get the bottle,” she offered, starting to stand up.

Adam was quicker. Before she could move, he was in front of her, reaching for her wine glass. “Allow me, Detective.” He seemed to take extra care not to accidentally touch her, and refused to meet her eyes as he strided from the room. She was plenty used to his mood swings by now, but his sudden distance made her gnaw on her bottom lip in worry.

Had their week apart only served to convince him that he was right in the first place? That they were better off pretending that none of this had ever happened? Is that what he wanted? To keep pretending? Even the thought of it shattered her heart. 

If he was only there to break her heart one last and final time, then she really did have nothing to lose.

Resolved, with liquid courage burning through her veins, Rachel quickly smoothed down her clothes and hair before trying to look as normal as possible. Adam returned with two full glasses and the rest of the bottle, a resolute look on his face that matched her own. He handed her her wine silently before resuming his place next to her. This time their thighs did touch, pressing together as they settled on the sofa. Adam didn’t pull away, only took a long sip of his drink as he returned to gazing out the window. 

She opened her mouth, unsure what she was about to say, only that there would be no going back once she did. She took a gulp of wine, gathering the last bit of her strength, before setting her glass down and settling her nerves.

But, just like before, Adam beat her to the punch.

“Do you remember the day we met?”

His voice was soft, quiet, contemplative. He still wasn’t looking at her, the stiffness to his shoulders the only thing that gave away his nerves. Rachel was so taken aback by the question that it took her a few moments to gather the answer. “Which time?” She asked, mouth twitching up into a smirk. “When I shot you?”

He made a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat; meant to sound annoyed, she was sure, but she could just make out the amusement laced in the sound. The incident had become something of an inside joke between them, as much as either of them were capable of such a thing. The familiarity was comforting and helped her relax more than the wine had.

“I was referring to the meeting in your office,” he clarified, rolling his eyes even as he fought back a smile.

“Ah.” The corners of her mouth twitched and Rachel pushed a lock of hair behind her ear that had fallen in her eyes. “Then yes. Of course I do. It was an important day.”

He nodded once, expression serious once more. “It was.” Adam exhaled slowly before setting his glass down on the coffee table in front of them. And then, slowly, he turned to her. “Perhaps the most important one of my life.”

The air left Rachel’s lungs instantly. Just like that, she was paralyzed. "That's… that's quite the statement, coming from you." The lightness in her tone was immediately lost to the breathlessness of her voice.

When Adam met her gaze, there was only certainty there. “I will remember that day for the rest of my existence.”

She was immediately lost in his eyes, lost in his words and all the hope that sprouted up in her: tiny little vines wrapping around her ribcage, threatening to bloom. “You will?” Somehow she found the words and the ability to speak even when her throat felt so dry it could crack.

Adam didn’t respond immediately, instead moving just that much nearer to close up the distance between them. Her heart was pounding so loudly in her chest she couldn’t hear. “You were leaning against your desk the first time I saw you,” he murmured, reaching out to gently brush fallen strands of hair out of her eyes. “Your hair was up; the t-shirt you were wearing was dark green and your jeans had a small rip in the knee."

He spoke so matter-of-factly, as if reciting something from memory, that she almost missed how his voice had gone hoarse with emotion. Almost. Rachel felt her eyes burn like she was about to cry, though she didn't know why. The way he spoke… It was like he was saying more than he actually was. Or trying to, anyway.

“Why do you remember that?” Her voice was so dry it felt like talking with a mouth full of sawdust, but the question suddenly felt like the only one that mattered.

Adam held her gaze firmly, hope and fear and determination clear in his eyes. “Because it was the moment I fell in love with you.”

Her heart stopped beating in her chest, mind going blank as she tried and failed to process those words. For the first time since he entered her apartment, Rachel wondered if she was dreaming. She was suddenly so sure she must be. Adam didn’t- he would never-

"I have always known it," he murmured, voice filled with a gentleness that took what little breath she had left away. "It has taken this long for me to accept it." 

She closed her eyes, opened them again a few moments later. But he was still there, still looking at her like she held his entire life in her hands. He never took his eyes off of her, the expectation in his expression quickly morphing into apprehension. He was waiting for her to say something, anything. Rachel tried to find the words, knew they existed somewhere deep inside of her. But her brain was short circuiting, her heart threatening to burst in her chest.

“If I am too late…” He spoke quietly, dropping her gaze before swallowing and finding it once more. “Tell me to leave and I will.”

Her mouth found his instantly, pressing hard and desperate as all the feelings she had been fighting since the day they had met erupted within her. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer as her tongue sought entrance.

With a low groan, the sound of the last of his restraint shattering, Adam met her kiss just as urgently. His mouth relented to her, hands seeking her skin before claiming her hips. She was consumed by him in an instant; his taste was the only one she wanted in her mouth for the rest of her life, his hands the only ones she wanted roaming her skin.

It was a long time before Rachel broke the kiss with a ragged gasp, taking several breaths and trying to calm her racing heart. Adam pressed their foreheads together, eyes searching hers with a kind of vulnerability she had never seen from him before. 

She raised a hand, running her fingers along his jaw as her chest heaved. Her head was a blur, mind whirring as she tried to process everything that just happened. Adam leaned into her touch, eyes falling shut and fingers pressing into her back.

Her eyes burned again with that odd feeling, throat squeezing tight against words that were finally ready to be spoken. “I love you too,” she choked out, both hands reaching up to cup his face. “So  _ much _ .”

Somehow, the words didn’t feel like enough, like they didn’t truly capture everything that was between them. How could four words possibly express so much emotion, so much  _ love? _

Adam went still in her arms and Rachel was suddenly so terrified she had said the wrong thing. She knew this had to be too good to be true, she knew that it would all eventually slip between her finger tips like sand.

"Say it again."

Adam's voice was deeper than normal, rough with emotion. He still hadn't opened his eyes, but he nuzzled closer to her hand. She paused for a moment, surprised by his request- more like a demand, like he needed to hear those words from her. But then she relaxed, raising her other hand to comb her fingers through his hair.

"I love you," she whispered firmly, certainly, not leaving any room for doubt to grow.

Adam sighed softly, body relaxing almost completely, as if finally releasing a weight that had been threatening to crush him. "Again."

"I love you." It was freeing, finally saying those words out loud. She felt that same weight leave her shoulders. "I love you, _ I love you _ -" 

Adam's lips crashed against hers, quickly silencing her endless stream of declarations. Rachel eagerly deepened the kiss, mouth opening to allow his tongue to meet hers. She still held his face in her hands, keeping him as close as she could.

She had imagined what it would be like to kiss him a million times, had dreamt about it. But dreams had nothing on reality, and thoughts could never compare. 

Adam’s mouth was a demanding thing, pulling her in over and over again; absolutely overwhelming in its intensity. Rachel tried to keep up with him but quickly found herself lost in the sea of his kisses.

When she pulled away to breathe, Adam kissed down her cheek to her neck and began leaving soft little bites on her skin, soothing the red marks with his tongue. A moan tore from her throat, eyes falling shut and hands clutching at his back.

He had an arm snaked around her waist, the other moving up the back of her head to the elastic band that kept her hair in place. He pulled it out swiftly but gently, letting her red locks tumble over her shoulders. That same hand immediately entangled itself in her hair, pressing against her skull.

“Adam…” she sighed his name, finding his lips once more to pull him into a searing kiss. It was like something inside of her had been uncorked; so much longing and desire finally being fulfilled. She didn’t think she could stop kissing him even if she wanted to.

He groaned into her mouth, hands sliding lower down her waist to rest on her ass. He squeezed, drawing a soft moan from Rachel, and then he was hauling her into his lap until their bodies aligned and their chests pressed together. 

She gasped against his lips, her knees falling onto either side of his hips. In a far away part of her brain, Rachel realized that this was the closest she had ever been to Adam. And yet it wasn’t close enough.

His fingers found the hem of her sweatshirt, sliding underneath and coming in contact with bare skin. She shivered, feeling every nerve ending she had light up as his hand explored her back, following the curve of her spine.

“Is this alright?” He mumbled against her mouth, fingers slowing as if waiting for her to push him away. Her response was a slow whine, desperate for him to feel more of her. All of her. She pulled away, planting several kisses against his jaw, before yanking her sweatshirt over her head and tossing it onto the ground.

She was more exposed to another person than she had been in years. Her tank top hid little from his gaze, especially with nothing on underneath. But she didn’t feel vulnerable, even as his eyes feasted on her. She felt wanted.

“You’re so…” Adam’s hands ran over every inch of skin she had revealed, sliding up her arms and tugging lightly at the straps of her tank top. “ _ Pulchra. _ ” 

Their lips met again and again, and Rachel slipped her hands underneath his shirt, moaning softly as she felt the solid muscles of his torso. She felt greedy as her fingers traced his abs, feasting on every little noise she pulled from him. She tried to think of every fantasy she had had over the years, of all the ways she had wanted to touch him had she had the opportunity. But her head was muddled, buzzed off the feeling of his skin grazing hers, and all she could do was paw at him like a giddy teenager.

She whimpered as his hand slid up her stomach, moving slowly and teasing her skin. He paused just below her ribcage, as if waiting for permission to push further. She wanted to tell him that every inch of her was his, that there was nowhere she didn’t want his hands to be. Instead, she pushed her tank top up her body before pulling it off entirely.

Adam exhaled sharply and when she glanced down at him, he was taking her in with the reverence one would a masterpiece. His hands claimed her breasts, tentatively at first, as if he might break her. She sighed in pleasure, arching her back slightly to offer even more of herself to him. His fingers found her nipples, rolling them gently and pulling a quiet moan from her.

A heat was bubbling up inside of her, one Adam often ignited but had never been allowed to flare until now. She needed him. Now. “ _ Adam,”  _ Rachel whined, biting down on her lip to keep more embarrassing demands from flooding out.

His hands kept massaging her as his mouth dove down to shower her breasts with wet kisses. She moaned, gripping his shoulders for support, as he took one of her nipples into his mouth and teased it with his tongue.

She felt that heat turn into an inferno, threatening to consume her, the pleasure inside her mounting. “Yes,” she sighed. “So good.”

Adam released her nipple only to give the other one the same attention, nipping and biting until they were both red and hard. She moaned and whimpered in his arms, breath going heavy as she began rocking her hips against his.

He growled against her skin, hands sliding down to her hips to press her harder against his erection. Rachel claimed his mouth again, lips meeting as she continued to seek friction against her aching pussy. She could feel her wetness stain her underwear and she only grew wetter with every kiss, every touch.

“More,” she mumbled against his mouth, grinding down against him. She was rewarded with a wonderful moan from Adam that only made the ache between her legs worse. “I need more.  _ Please. _ ”

His hand slipped underneath the waistband of her pajama pants, cupping her through her underwear. She jolted at the touch, cursing as she felt herself threaten to tip over the edge- and he had just barely started touching her.

“Are you sure?” His voice rumbled, half growling. She could feel the restraint it took for him to not take her right then.

She was already nodding, not caring how desperate she must have seemed. “ _ Please-” _

Her plea quickly turned into a moan when he pushed her underwear to the side, slowly sliding a finger into her. A long, slow moan left her lips, eyes instantly falling shut. She clenched tightly around him, earning another growl, and began rocking against his hand desperately. She was already so  _ close-  _ it had been so  _ long  _ and she needed him so  _ badly-  _ that when his thumb brushed her clit she dug her nails into his shoulders harder than she meant to.

He hissed in pain, but before she could feel guilty, his finger began sliding in and out of her at an unhurried pace. The pressure on her clit increased as she desperately fucked his finger. Adam caught her mouth, sliding his tongue against hers as another finger joined the first one.

Her eyes went wide, the pleasure and burning mixing together and sending her off. “ _ Adam.” _ She came with his name on her lips and in her head, shuddering as he guided her through her orgasm with slow, steady fingers.

When Rachel came back to reality, Adam was peppering her shoulders with kisses and slowly pulling his fingers from her. She couldn’t help the rush of embarrassment she felt at coming so fast, her cheeks flushing as she realized it, but he kissed her hard enough to distract her from those thoughts.

_ “Pulchra,”  _ he mumbled against her mouth again. Her mind was still foggy as she came down from her high, but her latin had gotten much better since the last time he had spoken it to her. Beautiful. He thought she was beautiful.

Rachel wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing his mouth back to hers. “We should probably move this to the bedroom,” she suggested between kisses, trailing her mouth down to leave love bites on his neck.

She could feel how hard he was as his erection pressed against her thigh, but even still Adam hesitated, fingers stroking down her bare back. “Only if that is what you want,” he said finally, eyes shutting briefly and a sharp breath leaving his lungs when she ran her hand down the zipper of his pants. “This is already more than I ever thought I would have.”

“I want to,” she assured him, even as her heart skipped a beat at his words, at the fondness in his eyes and tenderness in his touch. “Do you want to?”

A long moment passed in which Adam gazed into her eyes, brushing stray strands of hair from her face as he considered her. “More than you could possibly imagine,” he answered finally, eyes honest and full of love.

And then he was standing up, lifting her into his arms with ease. Rachel gasped at the suddenness of his movements, wrapping her arms around his neck to steady herself. Adam held onto her firmly, one hand gripping her thigh and the other supporting her ass. She wrapped her legs around his waist to completely anchor herself to him, mouth seeking his out once more.

The trip to her bedroom took longer than anticipated; Adam kept stumbling into doorways and furniture, distracted by the trail of kisses she was leaving from his mouth to his throat. He also stopped several times to pin her against a nearby wall and kiss her senseless. By the time they finally crashed into her bedroom- door slamming into the wall and most definitely leaving a hole- she was a needy, shaky mess.

Her room was dark, the only light spilling from the window. It was messier than she wished it was; piles of clothes on the floor and her bed unmade, blanket half on the floor. There were many things she'd have done differently had she'd known she'd be having sex with Adam that night.

He placed her down on her bed like

she was made of porcelain and would shatter at the slightest bit of force, fingers featherlight against her skin. Letting go of him, even only briefly, was excruciating and Rachel instantly pushed herself onto her knees to reach out for him.

Adam caught her hand, bringing it to his mouth and pressing a tender kiss against her knuckles. A soft sigh left her, her heart threatening to melt all over her ribcage. Using her hand, he tugged her closer to him and met her lips passionately, tongue sliding over her bottom lip. 

His hands slid underneath the waistband of her pants once more, slowly pulling them down her hips. But Rachel stopped him before he got too far, hands resting over his. Adam instantly froze, eyes wide as if expecting her to shove him away in disgust. She smiled gently, easing his concerns with a soft kiss against his cheek as she moved her hands to the hem of his shirt.

“You have me at a disadvantage,” she murmured, slowly pushing his shirt up his stomach, taking the time to caress every muscle she came across. Adam allowed it, watching her under heavy eyelids as she managed to get his shirt completely off.

A sharp exhale left her as she took him in, the moonlight streaming in through the window highlighting his pale skin, making it almost glow. She couldn’t take her eyes off of him, tracing over every hard line of his torso, only slightly aware that she was gaping with her mouth hanging open. But  _ God,  _ he was a work of art; a statue carved from marble that belonged in a museum far away from her tiny apartment.

If she was beautiful, he was magnificent.

Her hands were shaking slightly as they slid down his stomach to rest on the button of his pants. Rachel swallowed hard, the reality of everything that had happened- was still happening- finally sinking in. It was almost too much.

She somehow managed to get the button open and zipper down, tugging his pants and underwear as far as she could until Adam had to take over. He shed himself of his clothing quickly and efficiently and then he was standing before her bare.

_ Oh. _

And she had thought he was impressive before.

Her eyes studied every inch of his body, but kept travelling back to his cock. She had felt him earlier, pressing against her thigh as she rode his fingers, but feeling and seeing were two different things. What she saw made her weak in the knees, made her pussy flood with heat. He was easily the largest she had ever seen and the largest ever had. Or would have.

Rachel gently wrapped her hand around his cock, as much of it as she could, but before she could stroke him he was pulling her wrist away and pushing her almost playfully backwards onto the bed.

“Not yet,” he informed her, eyes dark as they roamed her body. “I want to see you.”

She yelped when he tugged her to the edge of her bed by her hips, just barely catching a hint of a smirk in the pale moonlight. Adam quickly shed her of her pajama pants, tossing them carelessly off the side of the bed. His fingers teased her through the fabric of her plain cotton panties, making her squirm and frown up at him.

“Stop teasing me,” she mumbled, brow furrowing.

Now his smirk formed completely, his finger slipping underneath the fabric to slowly stroke her clit. She jolted forward, gasping, and he increased the pressure ever so slightly. “You don’t like it?” he murmured, dragging his finger through her wet folds.

Rachel shuddered out a breath, eyes shutting tightly as she resisted the urge to buck against his finger. “I… I didn’t say that,” she replied breathlessly.

His chuckle was barely audible as he leaned down to kiss her breasts, nibbling gently and earning another moan from her. He finally, mercifully, pulled her underwear off, leaving her completely exposed to him.

The smirk left his lips as he gazed down at her, committing every part of her to memory. Again, Rachel would have thought she’d feel exposed, being completely naked in front of another person for the first time in five years. But she didn’t. She felt safe and warm and loved.

Adam leaned down, kissing her gently as he joined her on the bed. He settled over her, on his knees before her, and ran his hands slowly down the length of her body.

_ “Pulcherrima es mulieri ego umquam,”  _ he murmured, pressing soft kisses against her cheek, her jaw, her throat. His hands slid down even further, resting on her thighs. “Spread your legs for me.”

Her thighs fell open as soon as the words left him, that heat from before returning with full force and threatening to burn her alive. There was no room left in her to feel embarrassed about her overeagerness, about how badly she desired him. She couldn't feel guilty when he stared down at her like he was about to devour her.

Adam nipped at her neck as his hand slid down her stomach to cup her pussy. She sighed in pleasure, arching her back and pressing closer to him. He slid a finger into her wetness, stroking her slowly as his thumb found her clit.

_ “Adam.”  _ She snaked her arms around his neck, yanking his mouth down to hers. A second joined the first, stretching her further as he prepared her for his cock. He pumped his fingers at a steady pace, a long string of moans and whimpers falling from Rachel's lips. 

A third finger entered her, bringing an uncomfortable burn with it that made her flinch. Adam kissed her breasts in apology, pulling her nipple into his mouth and teasing it with his tongue. She felt her release approaching, breaths going heavier as she lost herself entirely in him.

Adam pulled his fingers from her before she could come, making her whine loudly and open her eyes in frustration. He planted a placating kiss against the corner of her mouth, hands grabbing her thighs and spreading them open further as he settled between them completely.

She could feel him at her entrance and gave another whimper of impatience. She had waited so long for this man, she couldn’t bear another second of not having him. She looked up, meeting his gaze as he brought a hand up to brush her hair from her face.

“Are you certain?”

There was no hesitance in her actions as she stretched up to lightly brush her lips against his. “Yes,” she breathed against his mouth, trying to convey the extent of her devotion with a single word.

Adam entered her slowly, her vision going bright with stars as he filled her more than anyone ever had before. Rachel groaned, squeezing her eyes shut as pain and pleasure lit up her body in equal measure.

“Oh,  _ fuck. _ ” She bit down hard on her lip, nails digging into his shoulder as the other gripped her sheets tightly. “Oh, Adam.”

He gave a grunt, his grip on her thighs bruising. He pushed slowly, inch by inch, giving her time to adjust to him. It seemed like eternity had passed before he finally bottomed out, hips not even twitching as he remained completely still inside of her.

Rachel opened her eyes slowly to see Adam’s face creased in concentration, eyes squeezed shut. It seemed to take all his effort not to immediately thrust back into her, but he wanted her to get used to him. She wrapped her limbs around his body, every point of them connected, and kissed his shoulder to get his attention.

“I love you,” she murmured; her body, mind, and soul felt so completely full and  _ right.  _ Because of him. “I’ve always loved you.”

Adam made a soft noise at the back of his throat, using her thighs to pull him tighter against him. She drew her fingers across his jaw, feeling a tear roll slowly down her cheek. It made no sense, logically, why she felt like crying. But It was all too much; she couldn't handle all the feelings bubbling in her chest.

He opened his eyes only for them to widen in alarm when he saw that she was crying. “I’m hurting you.” He made to pull away but she wrapped her arms tighter around him.

“No, it’s not that,” she assured him, trying to smile. She didn't know how to explain it without sounding crazy. “I’m just… really happy.”

Somehow, his eyes softened in understanding and he leaned down to kiss the tear from her cheek. “So am I.”

They began moving together in earnest, eyes locked as their pleasure built. Adam moved slowly against her, lovingly, his hands gentle as he caressed her breasts. It wouldn’t take long before she was falling apart, despite that she had come once already. Her pussy was on fire, clenching tightly around his cock as he made love to her.

“I’m… close…” She panted, closing her eyes as he hit a spot deep inside of her, making her toes curl. “Can’t last much longer.”

Adam grunted, hips meeting hers hard enough to make her whimper. “Neither can I.” His lips brushed her temple, her cheekbone. “It’s alright.”

He brought his hand down to rub circles against her clit, making her cry out. “Adam-!”

Rachel fell apart in his arms, the whole world fading away until all that was left was the two of them. Only them.

Adam followed her over the edge, burying his face in her neck and crying out.  _ “Rachel.”  _ His voice was muffled, but she could just make out her own name falling from his lips.

Neither moved as they both came down from their highs. Rachel slowly stroked his hair, letting her fingers trail down the back of his neck. He purred softly, nuzzling further against her. The weight of him was comforting as it pressed her down into her mattress.

She didn’t know what she did to deserve him, to deserve this. But she wouldn’t question it, only cherish him for as long as she was allowed to.

And never let anything, or anyone, take him from her arms.

\-------------------------------------

_ Pulchra-  _ beautiful

_ pulcherrima es mulieri ego umquam-  _ you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen


	3. Everything We Have

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are folks. Thanks for sticking with me on the most wish fulfillment-y thing I've ever written. The response and kind comments have made me cry several times, thank you so much for reading.  
> Enjoy!

_ The Next Morning _

For the first time in centuries, Adam woke up with sunlight in his eyes.

He groaned faintly as the bright light blinded him, immediately squeezing his eyes shut and tossing his arm over his face. He always woke up before the sun, if he slept at all. The strange occurrence was jarring, especially as his mind was still foggy with sleep.

It wasn’t until the body next to him shifted, burrowing further into his side, that the events of last night came rushing back to him all at once. He inhaled sharply, blinking his eyes open slowly to look at the woman curled next to him.

_ Rachel. _

Somehow, she was even more beautiful in the pale morning light; her hair scattered across her pillow, his arm, partially obscuring her face. And that face; completely relaxed, at peace. He would endure the light of a million suns if it meant getting to wake up to that face for the rest of his existence.

Adam reached out with a gentle hand, carefully brushing the hair that had been obstructing his view away. Her nose wrinkled in her sleep and she pressed even closer to him, her breath washing over his skin as she buried her face into his shoulder.

Showing up at her apartment the night before, finally confessing things he had known since the moment their eyes had met- it was one of the most selfish things he had ever done. He had known it even as he was doing it, had argued and fought with himself even as he was knocking on her door.

But the damage had been done the second her lips had touched his. The final nail in his coffin, the straw that broke the last of his self-control. He had known it- as soon as the taste of her met his tongue, when her fingers drew so lovingly across his cheek, he had known he was damned. 

He had tried, for so  _ long,  _ to resist his feelings, to resist every urge that told him to take her into his arms and keep her there. To spare them both the pain their relationship would inevitably bring.

But then their lips met and suddenly none of it mattered anymore.

He had spent every day they had been apart trying to convince his stupid, damnable heart that nothing had changed- he was still a danger to her, would still bring her nothing but pain and sorrow. 

He spent every day of their separation trying not to think of their kiss; of the memory of how soft her skin was underneath his fingers, how warm her body had been against his. And when that didn’t work it was all he thought about. He couldn’t look at the snow outside without tasting her lips.

It seemed that his intentions no longer mattered. His heart had made the decision for the rest of him, finally fed up with being shoved in a lockbox and kept within the depths of him for centuries. He had  _ intended _ to avoid her, to push her further away. To convince both of them, once and for all, that they could never be together.

But the moment he stepped foot back in Wayhaven he was pulled back to her side, like the string that connected their souls couldn’t bear the distance anymore. He hadn’t even realized what he was doing until he was standing outside her apartment, couldn’t stop himself even as he was knocking on her door.

Adam always prided himself on his self-restraint, on his ability to put duty and responsibility before everything else.

That part of him- as fractured and cracked as it had become- shattered when she opened that door. When her big, blue eyes blinked up at him in confusion and shock and hope.

Adam always prided himself on his strength, yet it took absolutely all of it not to sink to his knees the moment he saw her; to not wrap his arms around her, press his face into her stomach, and never let go.

Even as he felt the war being waged inside of him draw to its inevitable conclusion; it wasn’t until he stood in her kitchen, alone, clutching a bottle of wine that he truly accepted his own defeat. And victory. Every other part of him- his body, his heart- had accepted his love for Rachel, had kept driving him back to her even as he tried to burn the bridge down beneath his feet. But his mind, the stubbornest part of him, kept shouting how this was all a terrible mistake; he would hurt her, he would  _ hurt her. _

It wasn’t until Rachel had kissed him- had kissed away the fears and doubts and worries- that the shouting stopped.

Even now, as Adam carefully stroked her hair as she slept, listened to every steady beat of her heart, that voice was still in the back of his head; quiet except for the occasional reminder of  _ you’re only dooming you both  _ and  _ you’ll lose her. You’re always going to lose her. _

He hadn’t expected old doubts to go away overnight, or that they would suddenly be joined by a mountain of guilt for all the time he had wasted. But other noises were easy to ignore when he could listen to Rachel’s breathing instead.

She shifted again, one of her arms stretching out across his stomach as a soft sigh escaped her. She mumbled something unintelligible against his skin as she pressed closer. He tugged the blankets further around her before wrapping an arm around her waist; securing her to him as she buried her face in his chest.

Adam barely breathed, remaining as still as possible as not to disturb you. He didn’t want to wake her until she was ready. He wasn’t willing to break the moment until he had to. 

It was another ten minutes until Rachel stirred again, her hair tickling his face as she shifted. He couldn’t bring himself to let go of her long enough to brush the strands away.

“Mmm,” she mumbled, nuzzling against his chest as she slowly woke up. Adam traced circles into her skin, running over every small freckle and mole that dotted her back.

“Good morning,” he murmured, mouth dipping down just enough to brush a kiss against the top of her head.

“Good morning.” He couldn’t see the smile on her lips, but he could hear it. Could feel it, too, as she tightened her hold on him and pressed her face further into his skin. “I love you.”

Adam’s heart skipped several beats, emotion building up in his throat that he tried to quickly swallow down. He didn’t know if he would ever get used to hearing, or saying, those words. But he would try. For her, he would try.

“I love you too.” He pressed another kiss into her hair, letting his eyes close as he absorbed the moment in its entirety.  _ More than I will ever be able to put into words. _

He heard a soft sigh leave her, felt her lips brush over his heart, and then her head was popping up so their gazes could meet. Even with her hair a mess and eyes heavy with sleep, she was so  _ beautiful.  _ She would never not take his breath away.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing that,” she mumbled, head dipping down so her lips could drag lazily across his jaw. She whispered it so softly that it felt like a confession not meant for his ears. But then Rachel glanced back up at him again, biting down on her lip self-consciously and suddenly he knew she had wanted him to hear it. “Think you’ll ever get tired of saying it?”

There it was; his out, his exit. The way she looked so helplessly at him made it clear that this wasn’t a test so much as it was her offering him one last chance to change his mind. Still, Adam felt a sharp sting in his heart that had him tightening his grip on her ever so slightly.

He deserved her distrust, her anger. He had wasted  _ so much time _ when it could have just been like this all along. He had been fighting her when he should have been holding her, loving her.

He would never forgive himself for the pain he had caused her. Yet more guilt and self-loathing to weigh down his shoulders. “I am sorry. For… the pain I have caused you.” He murmured, eyes closing as if he could no longer bear the weight of her gaze. But then he forced himself to open them, unwilling to wallow in self-pity, to waste even more time. “But know that I am yours for as long as you’ll have me.”

Rachel’s eyes filled with a warmth that could rival the sun, smile just as bright. This time when she kissed him it was on the lips, long and slow and lingering. It knocked all thought, all reason from him. His hand sank into her hair, anchoring her mouth to his. 

“I’m not sorry,” she breathed against his mouth after she pulled away for air. He let his eyes close, let himself get lost in the gentle comfort of her touch. He felt her fingertips trace over the lines of his face, drawing carefully over his cheek. “So you can’t be either.”

His brow furrowed and he leaned into her touch. “Rachel…” He said her name disapprovingly but didn’t get much farther before she silenced him with another kiss, taking his breath away.

“I’m not sorry,” she repeated, leaning their foreheads together after breaking away from his mouth. Adam opened his eyes to gaze up into hers, in awe of this woman who, for reasons he wasn’t sure he’d ever comprehend, chose to love him. Despite everything, she chose him. It was the first time in almost a thousand years that he felt lucky.

He brought his hand up to caress the side of her face, letting his lips twitch in the hint of a smile as he took her in. A million unsaid things passed between them, understanding and love filling the silence. They would talk later, say the things that needed to be said later. For now, he just wanted to enjoy the first of many mornings they’d share together.

“I don’t know how I could ever deserve you.” The confession left his lips before he could stop it; normally, admitting to something that vulnerable would make Adam retreat behind his walls before Rachel would have a chance to respond. But she made him feel  _ safe,  _ especially now; in the warmth of her bed, when not even clothes lay between them.

Rachel’s smile only grew, understanding tugging at the edges of it. She captured his mouth once more, pushing him further back into the pillows as she straddled his hips. “Let me show you then.”

He groaned into the kiss as she dragged her fingers slowly down his bare chest. Adam rested a hand on the small of her back, fingers spreading against her skin as she trailed kisses down his neck. The other remained tangled in her red hair, keeping her close.

He hissed when her hand reached his cock, fingers slowly wrapping around it in a way he had only ever dreamed about. Rachel stroked him with that same torturously slow pace, mouth finding his once more to swallow the groans he released.

The hand on her back slid lower, appreciatively squeezing her ass before sliding down and around her thigh. His fingertips stroked her inner thigh teasingly before dipping into her center to brush over her clit. The moan she gave sparked a hunger in him, only growing with every stroke she gave his cock.

Adam slowly slid a finger into her, reveling in the wonderful little whimper she gave him. He matched the pace she set, his cock aching in her grasp as Rachel brushed her thumb along his tip. 

He wanted to take the time to make love to her properly. He wanted to know every inch of her, to learn what drove her insane with pleasure and give it to her until she couldn’t take it anymore. But his patience was fading with every touch, every brush of Rachel’s lips against his skin. There would be time later- time, something they finally had. Adam would make the most of every second he had with her.

But that would be later. Now- he wanted her now, couldn’t stand to wait another second to have her. 

“I want you,” he murmured into her neck, trailing kisses down to her chest. A second finger joined his first one, twisting into the wet heat of her and making her cry out.

Her pace increased, along with her grip on him. Adam held back a curse, just barely. Her other arm wrapped around his neck, pulling his mouth back to hers. “You have me.”

He groaned into the kiss, pumping his fingers once, twice into her before pulling them free. Adam kissed her one last time, fiercely, as if trying to put every emotion she evoked from him into the kiss. He would show her how he felt, even if he wasn’t good at saying it.

Rachel squealed when he flipped them over with ease, pinning her between the mattress and his body. He silenced her with another kiss, his hands gripping her thighs and pulling them higher up on his hips. She wrapped her legs around his waist, deepening the kiss as she draped her arms around his neck.

He eased into her slowly, eyes squeezing shut as he fought the urge to drive straight into the warmth her pussy offered. Rachel panted against his neck, soft little moans escaping her with every inch that slid into her.

His hand slid down her stomach to find her clit, rubbing slow circles as he finally bottomed out. He remained as still as stone, allowing her to adjust to him as he began peppering her chest with kisses.

“Adam…” His cock twitched somewhere deep inside of her, the way she moaned his name so perfectly almost driving him to completion. He gritted his teeth, determined to bring her her pleasure before finding his own. “ _ God.  _ You feel so  _ good. _ ”

“You feel…” He moved slowly, pulling almost completely out of her before driving back in gently. “Like heaven.”

Adam forced his eyes open so he could look at her, take her all in. Rachel had her eyes closed, bottom lip caught between her teeth as her hips eagerly met his with every stroke. Her beauty always took his breath away, every time he looked at her, but like this… she was ethereal, otherworldly. Like a goddess he was meant to worship. 

Her hand came up to claim her own breast, nipple rolling between her fingers. He groaned loudly at the sight, thrusting into her harder than he had meant to and eliciting a soft whimper in response. One of his hands came to rest over hers, gently pulling it away from her breast and pinning it next to her head.

Their fingers intertwined, Rachel squeezing his hand tightly and refusing to let go. He could feel his own release approaching rapidly, even as he fought it. He didn’t want this moment to end, never wanted to have to let her go.

“Adam…” Rachel sighed his name softly, eyes opening to gaze into his. He was leaning forward before he even noticed, forehead resting against hers as he lost himself in her eyes. Her free hand moved up to stroke his cheek before sinking into his hair.

“I love you.” The words fell from Adam’s lips without thought. He felt the truth of them as he buried his face into her neck, hanging onto her hand like it was the only thing anchoring him to the earth. “I love you.”

“I love… you too.” Rachel choked the words out and he could feel her tears splash against his neck as they ran down her cheeks. He could feel his own escape, splashing against her skin as he pulled her as tight as possible against him. “So  _ much.” _

Rachel cried out as she came, Adam following her as soon as she clenched tightly around his cock. It was several long minutes before either moved, bodies still intertwined as they recovered. He kept his face buried in her neck, still holding onto her hand as his other one stroked her hair. Rachel's fingers traced nonsensical patterns into his back as she rested her chin on his shoulder.

He didn’t know what he had done to deserve her, wasn’t sure he’d ever know- wasn’t sure he ever  _ would.  _ But he would try. For Rachel, he would try.

It wasn’t until her alarm clock went off for the third time that they finally managed to pull themselves out of bed and each other's arms. Normally, Adam would never condone faking an illness to get out of work, but he had been half-tempted to ask Rachel if she would.

He gathered his clothes while she was in the shower, finding them scattered across her apartment along with the mess they had made the night before. He certainly didn’t  _ remember  _ causing such destruction; but the pictures knocked off the wall, pillows scattered across the floor, and coffee table shoved out of place told a different story.

Adam dressed quickly, frowning at the wrinkles that had set into the fabric, before quickly cleaning up the living room as best as he could. After straightening the pillows, he gathered up their wine glasses and brought them into the kitchen to be washed. It was there that he noticed that the faucet in the kitchen sink was leaky. That would need to be taken care of; he made a mental note to bring tools next time he visited. It was nothing he couldn’t take care of himself.

The coffee machine started whirring after he finished washing the dishes, so Adam grabbed the mug Rachel always used, what he presumed to be her favorite- jade green with gray stripes, a small chip in the handle- before preparing her coffee the way he had long ago learned she liked it. Small splash of cream, a dash of cinnamon. He set the steaming mug aside before realizing that she would need to eat as well.

Adam’s cooking skills were rudimentary after centuries of disuse (something that would need to be remedied, he planned on making her breakfast every chance he had); though he did know the basics, thanks to Nate. Toast was as simple as it got- and also what Rachel usually ate in the mornings. He was just spreading peanut butter across the bread when he heard the bathroom door open.

A few minutes later, Rachel was stumbling into the kitchen, working her still wet hair into a ponytail. She smiled wide when she saw him- as if they hadn’t just spent the night together- and quickly closed the distance between them, stretching up on her toes to capture his lips.

Their kiss lasted longer than either of them intended, Rachel only pulling away when her stomach rumbled. She grinned when she noticed the plate and mug sitting on the counter and quickly planted a kiss on his cheek before reaching for them. Adam pressed his fingers against the spot, hoping to keep the feeling of her lips on his skin for as long as he could.

“Thank you,” she mumbled around a bite of toast. “I thought i’d have to skip breakfast this morning.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied, leaning against the kitchen counter as his eyes roamed over her, taking her in.

He knew things would feel different between them, now that everything was out in the open. But it was how little things had changed that truly surprised him. It felt more like everything had just shifted slightly, snapping into place where it truly belonged.

“What are your plans today?” Rachel asked, drawing his attention back to her.

His head tilted slightly in consideration. “I still have to return to the warehouse. The others don’t know of my arrival yet.”

She frowned, lowering her mug in confusion. “You didn’t check in with them first last night?”

He glanced away, feeling embarrassed though he wasn't sure why. “I… had other matters to attend to.”

Rachel smiled brightly, stretching up once more to kiss him again. She tasted like coffee and for the first time in his life, Adam could see the appeal in the beverage. “Speaking of the others,” she said when she pulled away, leaning against his chest as she sipped from her mug. “What are we going to tell them?”

Adam wrapped an arm around her waist, keeping her pressed against him as he thought of his answer. While part of him enjoyed keeping this, keeping them, secret- something just for themselves- he knew, logically, it wouldn’t matter. They would smell Rachel on his clothes, on his skin, the moment he stepped foot in the warehouse, and then Farah would come down on him like a meteor strike. He resisted a groan as he considered all the teasing he would have to endure from the younger vampire. And he thought she had been bad  _ before… _

“The truth,” he replied eventually. “There’s no point in trying to hide it.”

Her smile only grew, lighting up her whole face as she rested her head against his chest. “I don’t want to hide either. We can tell them together tonight, after my shift’s over.”

Adam felt a matching smile tug at his own lips. “I’d like that.”

Being this happy was foreign to him, and part of Adam was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. That he might wake up one morning, alone, to find that she had never existed in the first place. Fear made him clutch her tighter to him, made him not want to ever let her go.

But then Rachel turned around, setting her mug down on the counter and wrapping her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. She rested her head against his chest, closing her eyes as the last remnants of fear left him. He wouldn’t lose her. He wouldn’t allow it.

“This has been really nice,” she mumbled into the fabric of his shirt. Adam wrapped his own arms around her, resting his chin atop her head as he held her. “Our morning together.”

“The first of many,” he replied and he could feel her smile grow as she held him tighter.

She gave a hum of agreement before reluctantly pulling away, kissing him one last time before finally letting go. “Walk me to my car?” She asked, finishing the last of her coffee and toast before putting the dishes in the sink.

Adam grabbed her coat, helping her shrug it on before passing her her bag. “I can accompany you all the way to the station if you’ll allow it.”

Rachel smiled, hand lingering on his as she took her bag. “I’d love that.”

For the first time after spending the night together, Adam helped Rachel gather all the things that she needed for work, turning off the lights she had left on and double checking for her that the stove was off, even though it hadn’t been used. Then he guided her to the door, doubling back to grab a file that was almost left behind.

Adam watched her lock the door, holding onto her bag and a stack of files as she searched for her briefly missing keys. Then he walked her to her car and accompanied her to the station, accepting a goodbye kiss that neither wanted to end. He made sure she entered the station safely, lingering outside for minutes after, unable to bring himself to leave.

It was the first time. It wouldn’t be the last.


End file.
